


It all happened backward.

by venom_for_free



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Deviates From Canon, Drama, M/M, Modern Era, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Post-Relationship, Regret, Sad Ending, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:41:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29718732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/venom_for_free/pseuds/venom_for_free
Summary: When Langa looks at things now, everything seems to have happened backwards.Of course, that's just his brain feeding him lies about a situation he lost control of a long time ago but … maybe that's how he works. Hindsight or blindness. Maybe there isn't much more for him in this life even though he really, really wished for it.Maybe a shooting star wasn't enough. Perhaps he should have talked. Oh. And he should have probably not done a few things when other actions would have been necessary. But as mentioned, hindsight.--or: Reki's childhood best friend comes back. They are happy with each other. Langa, on the other hand, is full of regret.
Relationships: Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki
Comments: 8
Kudos: 112





	It all happened backward.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, hello, welcome. This is inspired by @jeizelnut on Twitter, who asked what would happen if Reki's friend came back.   
> If you don't usually read tags, please let me ask you to do that now. This is an angst story. If you expect fluff, please read one of the other stories I wrote.   
> If you are a gremlin like me, enjoy. 
> 
> (Written after episode 7 and the 'break-up', so who knows what happens after? Not me.)

When Langa looks at things now, everything seems to have happened backwards. 

Of course, that's just his brain feeding him lies about a situation he lost control of a long time ago but … maybe that's how he works. Hindsight or blindness. Maybe there isn't much more for him in this life even though he really, really wished for it. 

Maybe a shooting star wasn't enough. Perhaps he should have talked. Oh. And he should have probably not done a few things when other actions would have been necessary. But as mentioned, hindsight. 

At least when he looks at Reki now, his best friend seems happy. Langa loves the way he smiles. He loves how his feet catch on the pavement when he rushes down a street on his board. He loves how Reki's eyes sparkle when he's excited. And, as of lately he’s finally admitted it to himself, he loves Reki as a whole. 

Too bad the smiles and sparkly eyes aren't for him anymore. 

\---------- 

One step back. 

Langa takes a step back from the edge of the skate park when he sees them for the first time. There is this … person. This person with his Reki. 

Well, not  _ his _ Reki, but … what's going on? Because yeah. Fine. Langa knows things haven’t gone too well between them recently. Or maybe they are shit. Maybe there isn't anything left, okay? Christ. 

But what he sees there is … yeah. No. That other guy is a bit too close. A tad too familiar with Reki. Langa thinks about walking up to them to introduce himself, but—oh. That's right. It's not his place anymore. 

Reki broke up with him. 

Not romantically, oh no. Because no matter how much Langa likes him, they never went there. Maybe Reki isn't interested in men. Or Reki isn't interested in  _ him _ , specifically. Who knows? 

Well, Langa does, now. With the way that dude hugs Reki,  _ his _ Reki. With the way their hands, smiles, eyes linger. Bile in Langa's throat, poison in Langa's heart. If his world had any color left, it would be tinted red by now. 

Reki doesn't see him. That's not even a dumb metaphor, no—Reki literally doesn't see him. No matter how long Langa stands there and waits. And he does wait. He still hopes, sometimes in the mornings, that Reki will take the route leading past his house. That he will pick him up like he used to, with that smile and his sparkly eyes, back when they were for Langa. 

They aren't anymore. The message is clear. 

\----------- 

"SNOW!" 

People scream and shout his name. They want him. All of them want him. But Langa only wants one of the faces poking out from the yelling masses. And it's the wrong one. 

He will learn. Hindsight. Just a few more days and he will understand he chose wrong, picked the poisoned path to follow and accidentally went too far. In more ways than one. Venom in his guts, the lack of air choking him like two heavy hands around his neck. A world black and white, lacking every color that returned only a few months ago. 

He took Reki for granted. He shouldn't have. He knows that now. But when Langa flew over everyone's head, higher, further, wider, he didn't comprehend the danger of falling. Not until he crash-landed and no one was there to kiss his wounds better. 

That day, his colors died. Or maybe that was when Reki told him they don't balance out anymore. 

A strange feeling, really, for someone who is so used to having the world spin beneath his feet, who moves untouched, to lose his balance. 

Reki always threw him off. At first in all the right ways, but that night, under the lamp during a rain shower neither of them was dressed for, it was different. 

Of course, Langa noticed him getting distant before. His absence during their training, during 'S', during everything they usually shared. But he thought they would figure it out. That Reki probably needed space. That he would get over Adam and the tournament. Langa was wrong. 

But he doesn't know all that yet. Or he does. Hindsight. Tenses are hard when nothing makes sense. 

He's high in the air and the next thing he remembers is falling. 

\-----------

"Oh no, that guy is scary! So scary!" 

Reki shakes him. Langa doesn't like that. His skin is burned and tender, his head too warm. It's as if his brain is swollen, so he needs a moment to catch on. But eventually, he realizes what Reki is trying to do. Might try to do. "I'll protect you." 

Langa wraps his arms around him. Holds Reki tight. They linger. 

He's thinking about this a lot, now, when Reki glances past him as if Langa is just the ghost of a long-passed moment. 

\---------- 

Reki looks at him with tears in his eyes. Langa blinks. All he sees is hibiscus. And Reki is talking but … how is Langa supposed to listen when his ears still rush? When his body pulses? When his heart threatens to break his rib cage because he is alive? He's challenged. He's … Reki is still talking. Yelling now. 

Something about a promise. Something about begging. Huh. Langa nods and the smile is back. Good. He fixed the problem. Now he can go back to his own issues. And he does. 

After that, Langa drives home, mind on Adam and a challenge, on 'S' and the sensations he never knew before. 

He has already forgotten the things Reki said and the boy he spoke about. Some sort of best friend. Injured while skating. Left Reki's life, so Reki is afraid Langa will do the same. 

But that's bullshit. Langa would never give up skating. 

Weeks later, when ice replaces his blood stream and he's nothing but a shell of who he thought he was, Langa will remember, though. He will remember the story of the boy Reki lost. Thought he lost. Until he saw Reki's face on one of the screens during 'S'. Because he  _ had _ started skating again. He also apparently never stopped thinking about the guy with the beautiful smile and the sparkling eyes. And then, when they met again, months after Langa lost his balance, they all remembered. 

\------------- 

Reki in the hospital. Reki stepping out after the beef with Adam, a bandage around his head instead of the bandana. Looking back, that was probably the first time Langa sensed there could be more. His heart rushed and fluttered in his chest like a hummingbird. 

He told himself it was for skating. For Adam. For revenge. For being better than the man who beat his best friend. 

Langa isn't as blind now. It was always Reki. It will always be. But this is where they started to drift. Because Langa decided to follow one obsession—no, two. Or more? Who can tell at this point? They were all the wrong path, anyway. 

He should have stayed with Reki, held his hand. 

_ I'm scared _ . 

That doesn't come until later. But  _ If you're scared, I'll hold your hand  _ already happened. 

So Langa should have known. He should have known so many things. Hindsight is a gift. It's also toxic. 

\------------ 

All Reki wants is for Adam to apologize. That's why he asks him to skate. He demands respect for Miya, who previously was a total ass to Reki. And still. 

Adam declares Langa his prize and Langa agrees because the thrill is more important than Reki's worry. And for a while, he doesn't think it matters anyway. Reki will win this. Except he doesn't and it drives Langa up the walls to see him get hurt. 

Reki is the one with the blood on his head, but … maybe Langa received the brain damage. Looking back, that would be a convenient explanation for everything that followed. But there's no easy way out. 

He fucked up and he has to admit it to himself. Things were good for a while and Langa fucked them over. Didn't mean to. But that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. It doesn't matter when Reki isn't with him anymore. 

\----------- 

He skates for the first time on a board that isn't his. From there on, things go forward. For some reason, that person Langa met, that guy, Reki, is an absolute angel. He shares his board, his home, his time, his resources. 

He teaches Langa. And for the first time in forever, Langa sees colors again where the world was grayscale before. 

He's laughing. They are laughing. And when Langa does something right, there is this smile and the sparkle in Reki's eyes. 

It's the first thing that motivates him, the first person who makes him feel alive. Langa is giddy. Langa is in love. The baby stage. First feelings breaking out of him like flowers in spring, determined to fill the cold slush with colors against all odds. Life thrums through him to the sound of a drum he hasn't heard in endless months of winter. That's what he feels for Reki Kyan. 

He just doesn't know it yet. 

**Author's Note:**

> >   
> Thank you, as always, to my wonderful editor [Taedae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taedae/pseuds/Taedae), and to you as the reader.  
> I'm also on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/venom-for-free)[, Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/venom_for_free/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/venom_for_free)


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